


Until death do us part

by banestarks



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Malec, Mention of Character Death, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 04:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16234307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banestarks/pseuds/banestarks
Summary: "I miss you Alexander" Magnus sobbed





	Until death do us part

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to Unsteady by Erich Lee while reading :)
> 
> This is my very first time writing and english is not my first language. Please be gentle with me?
> 
> Also this work was not beta'd so sorry for the mistakes
> 
> Find me on twitter: @shumsgiggle

Magnus’ vision was blurry, his breathing uneven, his knees weak as he remembered the coffin slowly lowering to the ground. He closed his eyes, trying to even his breathing but instead, he found himself gasping for air. This could not be happening. Not now, not ever. His husband could not be gone.

He looked around, trying to find an anchor. Something to ground him and help him focus again but instead, Magnus felt hot, burning tears stream down his face and he whimpered as he fell on his knees.

\- - - - - 

“Until death do us part” Alec had whispered one warm afternoon, with glowing hazel eyes staring straight into Magnus’ deep brown eyes. Magnus could not remember a time when those eyes did not make his knees tremble. They were a beautiful honey, with a hint of green. The mixture of colours reminded him of a blooming forest in spring. Vibrant, rich in colours, peaceful and absolutely breathtaking.

Stepping closer so their joined hands were pressed against their chests, Magnus smiled as he whispered those four words back. After that, the world around them became nothing but a background noise as the happy couple shared their first kiss as husbands. The kiss was soft, tender yet full of passion and love. It was a kiss that sealed the promise of forever, of happiness and unending care for one another.

It was close to the end of spring. They had agreed on this date so that their honeymoon could be spent basking in the comfortable sun of mid June. And oh, was it an amazing honeymoon. They spent two weeks joined to the hips, traveling around Europe. One morning they would be in Albufeira and the next they’re enjoying the soft wind of Barcelona. Each new experience made them feel more alive, each new morning made Magnus fall even more in love with Alec. Sometimes, he would spend a few minutes staring at his husband as the other slept peacefully. Two weeks. Two weeks spent with more love shared between them than most people have ever experienced in a lifetime.

\- - - - - 

‘Unending’ Magnus chuckled softly to himself at the irony of those vows now. He let his whole body rest on the cold floor and shivered. Those were the same wooden floor that used to be warmed by his soulmate’s feet gently gliding on them as he walked back home from his long shift at work or early in the morning while they made breakfast together, enjoying the peaceful bubble they had created. A bubble that was rudely popped and taken from him, along with his husband. He tilted his head a little and felt a rough fabric against his forehead.

Magnus reached up and pulled the item of clothing closer to him. Memories flashed through his mind when he realised what was scattered carelessly on the floor in the passionate hours of the last night he got to share with the love of his life. A night he would never experience again. If only he knew that this would have been the last time he would have been able to hold his Alexander in his arms, he would have cherished the moment just a little more. He would have cradled his lover just a little closer, would have inhaled the familiar scent mixed with the sandalwood shampoo that they shared just a little longer. Magnus wondered briefly if he should get rid of that shampoo and get a completely different scent, because how would he be able to keep using this bottle when all it would remind him of was his loss.

He tightened his hold on Alec’s black leather jacket. The one he would wear to work almost every day. Magnus remembered the time he first saw Alec wear this jacket. It was the first night they spent the night together, sleeping on different couches, so far yet so close. They had shared so many firsts that night. From having drinks together, to shared laughter. He recalled the soft snores he heard as he was staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep due to the emotional roller coaster that he was put through on that day. Whenever he had a rough day, Magnus' mind always tend to wander all over the place and halt his slumbers. That night though, Magnus did not mind staying awake, basking gently in the soft snores coming from Alec. And as Magnus pondered on life, he realised one very important thing, he would fall madly in love with this man and give his all to him. And he did. They both did. They spent years wrapped up in their cocoon of love and happiness. Magnus would even dare say that it was the best few decades of his long, long life.

Did he regret it, though? Living years and years of radiating, unconditional love just for it to be snatched away from him so easily? Magnus smiled softly and wiped the dried tears from his cheeks as he shook his head to himself. Nothing could ever make him regret giving himself to Alec, heart and soul. He would do it again without blinking an eye because Alec was worth it, Alec was worth all the pain he could ever experience. He pulled the jacket closer to his nose and inhaled the scent deeply, one last time.

Magnus got up, placed the jacket on the couch and made his way to their shared bedroom. He knew the pain that would be waiting for him once he would lie in those cold sheets. Where a warm body would usually cling to him, there would be nothing but emptiness and a deafening silence. Magnus shivered as he climbed on Alec’s side of the bed and buried his face in his husband’s pillow.

“He lived a good life thanks to you” Jace’s words echoed in his mind.

And Magnus knew that. But he was a selfish, greedy man. He wanted more, he deserved more. Alec did not even get to see their children grow up and become adults of the functioning society, did not get to see them find love, get married and have children of their own. He never will.

Magnus squeezed his eyes shut. The pain of his loss intensifying the more he spent time alone with his own thoughts. He found himself tearing up again as he clutched on his dead husband’s pillow, pulling it close to his chest. Suddenly the whole place felt ten times colder and a feeling that he never thought he would feel again rushed through him and made the blood in his vein thick. Magnus was lonely. He was sad and lonely, and now unbelievably cold. He gasped and let himself cry again, screaming in the pillow, silently begging for someone, anyone to just take the pain away.

“I miss you Alexander” Magnus sobbed and curled himself into a ball, making himself as small as he possibly could. He closed his eyes and let the exhaustion take over his body. Soon everything turned black and the pain was gone for just a few blissful hours as he reached dreamland. A place where the love of his life was still in his arms, alive and breathing as they watch their kids play and bicker on the balcony.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)


End file.
